Let's get personal...

Pool Boy and I have had a lot weighing on us lately...

The stress of his job and what our next year looks like because of that has been a lot by itself. But, in addition, (brace yourselves peeps it's about to get real personal) we've been dealing with infertility. I swear this blog won't become a place where that's all I talk about .... but it's been weighing on my heart and I just want to be open about it.

I'm not sure why I feel like it's this big, shameful thing...as if I have control over it. Because believe me...if I had control this is not the situation we'd be in. But it's where we are nonetheless. After being poked and prodded for years to figure out what is going on we finally have an answer....Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS).

 It's a lot of words that basically mean I'm insulin resistant. And no it's not because I'm overweight and unhealthy...PCOS in most is caused by obesity but there are some where it's hereditary...and that would be me. 

The fertility doctor was very clear about how tough it's going to be for us to conceive and even tougher to carry a baby to full term. The odds are not all that great. In addition, the long-term effects including type 2 diabetes, heart disease, uterine cancer...ugh, ugh and ugh! Not what we wanted to hear, right?!

Very long story somewhat short...the doc wants me on a combo of drugs to see if I can even create functioning eggs (yep, more personal details). One of which she warned would make me sick. As in throw up, sick to my stomach, bed on the bathroom floor sick...except she said, "It'll make you a bit nauseaous but you'll be fine." Not the case folks...I've been sick for two weeks! The last three days of which have been the worst.

 So after a long husband/wife discussion tonight involving lots of tears and fears (not to be confused with the band Tears for Fears) we decided I'd stop the meds. Not sure how this will impact everything, but I just refuse to believe that there isn't a more natural way to cure this. There's got to be and I'm going to find it.

As much as we want a baby, we also know that our time and our wants are not usually the same as God's. He has his own way for things to happen and that's okay.

In the meantime, we'll see what the doctor says of my revelation next week (she'll probably be totally irritated with me) and tell me that no natural remedy will ever fix it. Well, we'll just see about that.

Regardless, it means that all white flour and sugar are out of my diet permanently...major bummer. The upside to all of this is that I have an amazing partner loving me through this whole thing. He's good...like the best kind of good a man can be. My heart is so full of love for him that sometimes I swear it could just burst.

Thanks for listening.

Every Mile a Memory

Pool Boy and I had the opportunity to hit up the Kenny Chesney concert last week with some of our good friends. We originally had the lawn seats (we're ballers like that), but our friends had some connections and got us 4th row seats...then surprised us with some backstage passes. Suh-weeet! We had so much fun. As Kenny performed song after song, I was amazed at how many of the songs took me back to a moment in my life or a specific memory. Isn't music amazing that way? Got me thinking about my top list of songs that strike the strongest memories. So here they are...

Top Memorable Songs/Moments (in no particular order)

1. "Small Town" & "Jack & Diane" by John Mellencamp

First let me say, I adore Mellencamp. I think he's genius and is one of the few who can make smoking look sexy. He's amaze-balls. Point. Blank. Both of these songs (and all Mellencamp for that matter) will always remind me of my dad (also a Mellencamper). He introduced me to him slowly through our long drives from western Washington to eastern Washington during the summers to see our grandma, aunt/uncle and cousins. He'd play Mellencamp on our boat while we'd float and swim the day away. Then, in 2000, during my freshman year at Baylor I met my dad in Philly and we drove (in the middle of a wickedly cold December) from Philly to Seattle. Yep, in the dead of winter along the northern U.S. Cray-cray? Yep and we loved it. When we hit Indiana and saw the sign for Bloomington we both knew what to do. Follow the signs in search  of Mellencamp. Only his true followers know that the man himself resides there. Mellencamp never gave into the LA scene and stayed with his roots in small town Bloomington. Yet another reason to adore the man. We never found Mellencamp, but it didn't stop us from rolling the windows down and shouting his name in hopes he'd pop out from behind a stop sign and say, "Jim? Natalia? Is that you guys? So glad you made it! Wanna grab a beer?" That didn't happen, but it didn't stop us from trying or from listening to Mellencamp for the next 4 hours. I love Mellencamp, but love Big J (dad) more.

2. "Take Me Out to the Dancehall" by Pat Green

I was first introduced to Pat Green at Baylor in Waco, TX (sigh....college how I miss you). I was at George's Bar enjoying a "Big O" beer when I first heard this song. I was surrounded by my most favorite college friends that I always think of when this song comes on my ipod. I can picture us all sitting around the table laughing, not realizing how quickly that time goes by. I will always look back and remember how completely content I felt in that moment. I have some pretty amazing friends if I do say so myself.

3. "Wide Open Spaces" by Dixie Chicks

This song came out right about the huge turning point of high school graduation and starting college. I went about 2,000 miles away from my pac northwest roots to the middle of hot, humid central Texas....Waco of all places. Who knew that I would love that place so much. I was literally going to wide open spaces and taking on a whole new life filled with new faces, culture and a new language filled with words I never knew had so many meanings. For example, "fixin" has two meanings neither of which have anything to do with fixing anything. My personal favorite is "mug down." It means make out. After a first date I came home to my dorm and my roommate from Temple, TX said, "Well, did y'all mug down?" My response was, "Why would he mug me or want to steal anything for that matter?" Clearly we had very different ideas of what "mug" meant. (Look for a post coming soon on my favorite Texas sayings...hilarious).

4. "Nashville Blues" by Cory Morrow

 WARNING: Another college memory...I'm sorry y'all but I really loved my college experience. Now onto the memory....word got out about a last minute Cory Morrow concert out past Marlin (good luck finding it on a map) and I jumped in the car with my boyfriend at the time and 4 others. A few drinks later and next thing you know I'm dancing the night away at a podunk bar literally in the middle of nowhere. I danced everywhere I went that night....to the bathroom, onstage, on a chair, on the bar top (yes, I was that girl), with my boyfriend, with my friends, with strangers...everywhere. It was a blast until I asked an undercover cop in the bathroom if she had a flask or would buy me and my friends some drinks. This lead to me in the back of a cop car (laughing...which didn't sit too well with the cop) then finally falling asleep in the back of the car. When I woke up it was not as funny. I was picturing my parents literally killing me after this. To my surprise I didn't get arrested, but I got a lengthy scolding from the cop right before I puked on her shoes. Ooops. 

5. "Then" by Brad Paisely
This song will always conjure up two amazing moments in my life...the day Pool Boy proposed in the exact spot where we first met and had our first kiss and our wedding day. Both moments changed my life forever, just like he has. Gosh I love that man.
                                           

6. "Zombie" by The Cranberries

In 7th grade I fell for the bad boy and that bad boy was all about grunge. Since I was so far from grunge, I decided that to get bad boy's attention I should start dressing grunge. Turns out, that look is not so hot on me. I also thought that if I listened to "Zombie" on my walkman that he'd think I was pretty cool. It worked! We "went out" (meaning we never went anywhere in public together ever we just said "hi" at school and kissed in front of all of our friends). The relationship ended after two weeks because after kissing him I decided it was gross and didn't want to do it again.

So there you have it...my most memorable songs...at least the ones I can think of off the top of my head. I think I smell a new series of blog posts though. What are your most memorable songs?

First Anniversary of Second Wedding...Huh?

Say what? Yep, this weekend marks our first anniversary of our second wedding. Confused? I thought so.

Here's the long and short of it. Pool Boy and I got engaged on July 4th, 2009. We'd been dating for roughly 7 months when he popped the question and I was ecstactic. Both of us were so in love and just ready to be married. After a few really, really long conversations about our wedding and how we wanted our day to unfold and weighing the schedule of when his job would allow us time to wed, we made the decision to elope.

We called our parents, asked them their thoughts, and with their approval we went to the courthouse on July 9, 2009 (yep, just five days later) and got hitched. We debated when to tell our friends and family who all still didn't know and slowly but surely we let the word out. Some were upset and confused, but at the end of the day we did what was right for us.

Happy with our decision, we still wanted to have a wedding with family and friends. On August 7, 2010 (a little more than a year after our elopement) we had the wedding we dreamed of. It was small, with only close friends and family and in our dear friends backyard.

That day was filled with so much love and laughter that we thought our hearts were going to burst. Our friends and family spoiled us with the most genuine, loving and supportive toasts any couple could dream of. We have an incredible group of family and friends that love us and support us. We feel so blessed.

So here's to you Pool Boy, on our first anniversary of our second wedding...together we've created our own family and there's no one else I could ever do this with. You've chosen to share your life with me and I'm so thankful for that. I'm constantly in awe of your strength, determination and genuine heart. You love me fully and accept me for who I am, yet always challenge me to better myself. Thank you for loving the Lord more than me and making sure that He is the light in our marriage. I adore you and am so in love with you. Thank you for loving me just the way I am. My heart sees only you.

Pool Boy

So it's official...I'm a blogger. I'd say "we're bloggers", but let's face it...the hubs wants nothing to do with blogging. It's not really his thing. 

Speaking of my better half, for purposes of the blog we'll be calling him the Pool Boy. For those of you that know us personally know that for work purposes I can't say his name. That left us with the painstaking decision of coming up with a nickname for him. 

Here was how Pool Boy came to be...We recently went to the Dominican for our two-year belated honeymoon (more on this later) and adored being near the water --> Returned home from said honeymoon to hot, humid, gross weather --> Really missed having a pool/ocean to jump in --> Randomly purchased the not-so-chic above ground pool that is 3.5 feet deep with inflatable rim (talk about eye sore) --> Hubby really enjoys cleaning the pool and it's become his other half (I've been replaced) --> Hence Pool Boy. 

He loves his nickname by the way...he cracks me up. Although, I might have to reconsider calling him the Gardener after the yard work he threw my way last night. I mean really? Yard work on a Wednesday night? Ugh...but I did it anyway. The Pool Boy always gets his way.